My life is a lie.
It always has been.
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were just the start.
My parents took me to church; they wanted me to believe in God,
and that he can forgive all sins,
But when I learned about 9/11, the school shootings, bad people on the news,
Christianity became a lie in and of itself.
I went to church, thinking there had to be at least some good from this,
but there was none.
I realized, that if God was so great,
Why doesn't he obliterate the evil now?
"That wasn't his plan," the overly zealous Christians told me.
And my name, it means something.
My name, Joshua, means "Jehovah saves".
But I can save no one, not even myself.
Just like Jesus asked, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
I am forsaken every day.
Suddenly, I realized something-
There is no escape; it never ends.
the world I live in,
has all been a never-ending nightmare.
And I have forced myself to live it.